Motherhood: 6 Reasons Why Bathroom Breaks Will Never Be The Same

It’s a good thing that parenthood is a slow descent into crazyville. When you hold that tiny bundle of joy in your arms and you and your spouse look lovingly into their eyes, you really have no idea what terror lies in the years ahead of you. For example bathroom time. A simple bathroom trip, once your babe has turned into a toddler, is no simple task anymore….and in fact dangerous.

Dangerous you ask?

Here are 6 reasons why bathroom breaks will never be the same.

First Scenario: 
The kids are quietly playing with their toys and watching a children’s program. You think, this is an ideal time to sneak out of the room and take that much needed bathroom break you haven’t been able to take since 7am when you were so rudely awakened with your four-year old jumping on the bed whining, “I’m hungry”, or yelling from the bathroom, “MOM YOU HAVE TO WIPE ME!” But bathroom breaks are just not that simple anymore. They will suddenly sense the lack of your presence and make their way to the bathroom whaling and pounding on the door as if they will never see you again and you are bound to be eaten up by the toilet monsters on the other side. It is the END OF THE WORLD for them! The apocalypse has just come! My four-year old still does this and my 18 month old just can not take the separation, leading to an all out  “throw yourself on the floor” crying fit.

Scenario Two: 
Your toddler has figured out how to open doors. So once a private moment, has now become family time when your four-year old also prances in asking “Watchyadoin Mama?”  The toddler finds the step stool and has a blast turning the light on and off the entire time you are in elimination mode and if you dare say, “please leave!” “get out!” “go watch TV!”, they’ll leave all right, but turn the light off in the process and slam the door shut and you are stuck across the room with the light off in the pitch black dark.

Scenario Three:
You manage to sneak in the bathroom and lock the door! You think, yes, you’re golden!! But……inevitably, you will hear a crash, a thud…thud… thud and a cry. You actually look forward to the cry because at least that is a sign of life on the other side. You think, Why is it when all hell breaks loose your ass is stuck to the can? You actually contemplate, do I just get up and run to see what happened, or finish my business hoping the kids are still alive, after all this is the only moment you have to yourself the whole day.

Scenario Four: 
You calmly tell your kids to be good and eat their breakfast and that you will be in the bathroom and don’t even think about messing around! You get an “Ok mama!” But….as soon as you sit down, your four-year old barges in and says, “Mama I gotta go!” You tell him to go down stairs. He whines, “I can’t I can’t!”, and proceeds to do the pee-pee dance and undress threatening to sit on you if you don’t move. You better hope all you needed to do was pee, or you’re bound to be cleaning up a mess in someone’s drawers for your ill-timed bathroom trip. You should have planned better!

If you manage to get your four-year old to use the other bathroom, your toddler will insist that since you are sitting down, it’s a good time to snuggle and crawl up on your lap with a magazine for you to read to them. Why else are there magazines in bathrooms? And of course while you’re deep in story time, you have to listen to the yell from the other bathroom, “Mom you have to wipe me!” Isn’t it great when the whole family is on the same poop schedule?

Scenario Five:
It’s that time of the month and once again you forget to lock the door and now your inquisitive four-year old wants to know what that thing is you’re sticking up your hooha! What the hell do you say to a four-year old boy who wants to know everything about everything!?  This will go down in my big book of mommy fails for sure. Thankfully a subject change to “J would you like a popsicle” diverted all curiosity and the subject hasn’t come up again.

Scenario Six:

Image Credit

In your hurry to finally get in a bathroom break, you forget to check the toilet roll, and your kids can’t hear your screams from the other side to grab you a roll of TP. Every other time they are in your business, but when you need them, they have packed up their suitcases and headed to grandma’s leaving you figuring out what plan B should be….and you’re “years” too late for that pill! 😉 HA!

What simple tasks have you taken for granted after becoming a parent?

If you like what you just read, consider casting a one click vote
Connect: Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | LinkedIn | GooglePlus |Newsletter | Emailed Posts

About Heather

I'm a coffee addict wife, "work at home mom", mother to two boys, blogging about the latest life hacks, recipes, DIY Projects and crazy "momisodes".
--- Grab a cup of coffee and stay awhile!

Mommy Only Has 2 Hands

Select list(s):



This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me, Heather Jones. For questions about this blog, please contact me via the “Contact Me” link on the top menu bar or click here. This blog accepts forms of cash advertising, sponsorship, paid insertions or other forms of compensation.

Disclosure Policy For Reviews / Guest/Sponsored Posts: 

The compensation received may influence the advertising content, topics or posts made in this blog. That content, advertising space or post may not always be identified as paid or sponsored content.

The owner of this blog is compensated to provide opinions on products, services, websites and various other topics. Even though the owner of this blog receives compensation for posts or advertisements, I (we) always give our honest opinions, findings, beliefs, or experiences on those topics or products. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the bloggers’ own. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer, provider or party in question.

To see more of my disclosure policy please click here.

Any Votes Are Always Appreciated! (And if you let me know you voted in the comments, they'll be returned!) 

Click To Vote For Us @ Top Mommy Blogs. A Ranked & Rated Directory Of The Most Popular Mom Blogs

Updated: August 22, 2014 — 3:35 am


Add a Comment
  1. Nancy P.@thebittersideofsweet

    Oh my gosh I am laughing hysterically as I read this! I have a four year old and 17 month old so I relate! But add an 11 yr old and 13 yr old who always follow me to the bathroom wanting to ask me questions while I sit there!!

  2. I gave up on bathroom breaks solo when my kids were young. I think at about 7 they stopped coming in to tell me that they needed something/wanted something/or did something. Good news – you are at least kinda close with the 4 yr old:)

    I found my kids sword fighting with my tampons one day – “But we took that cotton stuff out” if it makes you feel better.

  3. Hilarious! My oldest is 5 now, and still insists on asking me how to spell things/for something to eat/where something is as soon as I get into the bathroom.

  4. You just have to hold it until bedtime….
    Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook Up

  5. buwahahaha Mothers everywhere are nodding in agreement.

    My 5-yr old is ridiculous. The other day he went into the restroom, left the door open, and turned the TV towards him so he could watch TV. -_-

  6. This is hysterical!! What I would do for bathroom privacy! Glad to know that I am not alone :).

  7. Haha! My daughter is ALMOST to the point of figuring out how to open up the door. Crap! Right now she just stands outside, pounds on the door and yells “mommy!” She loves to watch me “go potty” lol.

  8. Yes, showers are as quickly as possible and sometimes I forget to wash the conditioner out of my hair! LOL

  9. Ha ha! Glad I could bring back some memories for ya! 😉

  10. LOL, nope, not alone Monica!

  11. I guess they think they have your undivided attention then or something. LOL

  12. Ha ha about the tampons! A friend of mine posted a pick of her daughter taking the sticky backing off of a pantyliner and sticking them to her dolls as if they were band-aids. Hilarious!

  13. Very true! I’ve certainly taken showers for granted before having kids too!

  14. Haha! I can relate to everything!

  15. Suzanne McClendon

    Once they become toddlers, it never ends. My children that are living at home are ages almost 18-22, and I still don’t get private potty breaks. The 27 year old doesn’t because he’s off in a submarine somewhere in the US Navy. :)

    I enjoyed reading your post. I laughed, remembering the toddler years, all the way through it!

  16. :) Glad to make you laugh!

  17. Darlene Ysaguirre

    Haha by Scenario four i was laughing out loud all sooo true!

  18. Barbie Bieber Beyond

    hahaha this is great, I “Stumbled” it for you!! great post!

  19. Great read. I’m sure all the mom can identify with at least four senarios on your list.
    Before kids I used to sneak a book into the bathroom and read. Now I’m lucky if there is no one outside shouting: “mom, mom, MOM!” Now only dad can get away with hiding in the bathroom.

What do you think?

Latest Posts


Leave Your Cares Behind on a Mediterranean Cruise

Mediterranean cruises offer travellers the chance to experience some of the most breathtaking destinations in the world. The area is the second most popular cruise ...
Read More
August 2013 468

How To Appreciate Dad on Father’s Day

A father’s job is never easy, especially when his tasks include everything from work and coaching sports to grill master and handy man. If you’re ...
Read More

The Luma Comfort High Power Evap Cooler

I live in Flagstaff Arizona. It gets hot in Arizona, but Flagstaff isn't like the desert of Phoenix, Flagstaff is actually located about 150 miles ...
Read More
screen568x568 (3)

Video Rewards App Review

Do you use your phone or tablet a lot during the day? How about at night? Those are silly questions, right? Of course you do! ...
Read More

Molar in The Mirror Box Set and A Contest!

We all know that we should teeth our kids how to brush their teeth properly. Sometimes though it can be a struggle. But it doesn't ...
Read More
Photo May 08, 3 45 44 PM

Donuts With Dad and Muffins With Mom

So my Kindergartener, soon to be 1st grader, had a little function at his school this morning that was so sweet. As a parent when ...
Read More

Giveaways & Blogger Opps

I love giving away cash to my readers! It's so exciting and I'm hoping one of you lovely readers gets ...
Read More
Being the wife of a husband who loves his backyard grill and our back yard patio space, I know this ...
Read More
*Hint* Enter this giveaways and you could receive this before mother's day! ;) About a year ago I reviewed a ...
Read More
NO LONGER ACCEPTING SIGN UPS   The awesome people at Little Tikes asked to team up with me to give ...
Read More
Mommy Only Has 2 Hands © 2014
%d bloggers like this: